Get Epic Shit Done (by Ankur Warikoo): Part 3 (Managing People)

Hi everyone,

This is part 3 of my 4-blog series on the Book Summary of the book "Get Epic Shit Done" authored by Ankur Warikoo. I have tried to be as brief as possible in this post. For those who want more details and context, I strongly urge you to read the book. 

Amazon/Audible/Kindle link: Available here!

Goodreads link: Here!

"Get Epic Shit Done" is written as a conversation between a student and a teacher and is based on 36 frequently asked questions related to life as such, which prompts the reader to get into action...

So, without further ado, let's get into action of going through the book!

The book is divided into 4 sections and written in a question answer format covering the 36 FAQs on life. The 4 sections of the book are:

1. Managing your life (i.e., FAQs 1-9 are covered in part 1 of this blog series; refer here)
2. Managing your career (i.e., FAQs 10-19 are covered in part 2 of this blog series; refer here)
3. Managing people (i.e., FAQs 20-28 are covered in the current blog, i.e., part 3)
4. Managing yourself

This blog post covers the third section in detail. The next section is covered in an upcoming post.

Managing People (Part 3 of the book)

20. How do I say NO?

• A person feels bad saying no because they care what people think of them.
• The author advises us to ask for permission to say no.
• People are scared of drawing boundaries because they are not used to standing up for themselves.
• It is okay to put oneself first and to have a conversation with friends to explain why they are saying no.

"Instead of saying no, ask if it’s okay to say no? Few will object to that!"

21. How can I seek help? 

• Seeking help is a fundamental way of learning and requires admitting that you don't know everything.
• Help is needed when you have attempted to solve a problem using available knowledge but have not been successful.
• When seeking help, be specific and provide context to make it easier for others to assist you.
• Don't undersell your need for help and show appreciation to those who assist you.
  

"When nothing else works, there is always help."

22. How do I convince my parents about my career choice? 

• The conflict between parents and children about life choices arises from different worldviews and experiences.
• To bridge this gap, children need to convince parents that their goals are similar, even if the paths differ.
• Children should introduce parents to their world through conversations, not with the intent to change them.
• Instead of seeking permission for success, children should seek permission to fail and pursue their passions.

"Parents seeking stability for your career is not about them going against you. It is about them being scared of an unstable life."

23. How can I forgive my parents?

• A person's father may be emotionally absent during his/her childhood, prioritizing work over their relationship.
• The father may regret his actions and wants to mend the relationship, but the person struggles to forgive him.
• The person should consider writing a letter to his/her father, seeking forgiveness for any hurt he/she may have caused and opening a space for reconciliation.
• The person considering forgiveness should emphasize that the forgiveness is made from genuine love and compassion, not out of obligation or a desire for revenge.

"True love forgives, even when no apology is sought. Because it can." 

24. How do I make friends? 

• Making friends as an adult requires being genuine and authentic, rather than putting on a façade to impress others.
• Friendships should develop naturally without the expectation of becoming friends in the first place.
• It is important to be comfortable in one's own company, but also to not use shyness or social awkwardness as an excuse to avoid new people.
• Friends can provide a different perspective and help us expand our understanding of the world.

"To build strong friendships, do not go out desperately looking for friends."

25. How can I find a life partner? 

• Finding a life partner requires being self-aware and accepting of who you are, rather than seeking someone to complete you.
• Shared values, particularly regarding finances, career, and life philosophy, are essential for a successful partnership.
• A genuine desire for each other's success and a willingness to support each other's growth are crucial indicators of a lasting bond.
• While dating apps can be helpful for meeting potential partners, the focus should be on finding someone who aligns with your values and life aspirations.

"You will find a partner when you are not looking for one."

26. How do I deal with a break-up? 

• Acknowledging and experiencing the emotions of a breakup, even if painful, is crucial for healing and moving on.
• Relying on a relationship for happiness creates dependency and prevents personal growth.
• Journaling can help process emotions, providing a reminder of the reasons for ending a toxic relationship.
• Missing an ex-partner is normal, but it shouldn't hinder self-love or prevent future happiness.

"Whatever you are feeling today will eventually fade away." 

27.  How do I set boundaries?

• Importance of Boundaries: Boundaries are essential because individuals have different preferences and non-negotiable aspects, which, when respected, allow for coexistence without intruding on each other's opinions.
• Boundaries in Relationships: Boundaries are crucial in relationships, helping individuals maintain their unique perspectives and priorities while allowing space for others.
• Setting Boundaries: Setting boundaries involves challenging conversations, especially with loved ones. Clear communication is required to avoid misunderstandings.
• Non-Negotiable vs. Negotiable Boundaries: Non-negotiable boundaries, such as topics one doesn't want to discuss, and negotiable boundaries, like punctuality, must be discussed. There is a need for self-awareness to maintain a healthy balance in relationships.

"When we set and respect our boundaries, we also encourage others to create and respect theirs."

28. How do I deal with toxic friends?

• Toxic friendships arise from unmet needs and emotional incompatibility.
• Identifying the source of toxicity requires self-reflection and honest communication with the friend.
• Healing a toxic friendship involves open dialogue, a willingness to change, and a focus on mutual happiness.
• Learning from the experience helps recognize potential toxicity in future friendships.

"The toxicity you feel in a relationship is an opportunity to understand your relationship with yourself."

So, with that, I wrap up the part 3 of this book. Hopefully it has some useful and thought-provoking insights for you. I will be back soon with the part 4 of this book summary (Get Epic Shit Done - Part 4 - Managing Yourself). Until then, this is Subin Khullar signing off.

Goodbye and take care... 

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (by Mark Manson)

Hi all,

I am back again with another book summary. Currently, I have written two parts each of book summaries of the books "48 Laws of Power" and "Get Epic Shit Done". I wanted to start and complete a fresh book within today's post. I will complete the book summaries of the above two books in my upcoming posts.

So, now to today's book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (by Mark Manson)

This is one of my favorite books and I wanted to share my learnings from the book. Strictly speaking, this post is less of a book summary and more of my key take aways from the book. I would strongly urge you to read this one to change your perspective on problem solving and life as a whole.

I was not comfortable with the usage of term f*ck again and again, so many times in the book. So, I have replaced f*ck with f__.

Happy reading!

Amazon/Kindle/Audible: Available here!

Goodreads: Here!

The above is a vlog with the book summary of this book by the author himself. An insightful one!

The YouTube vlog can be accessed here!

Now, jumping straight into the book...

Don't try!

• The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.
• Not giving a f__ does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different!
• To not give a f__ about adversity, you must first give a f__ about something more important than adversity.
• Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a f__ about. 

Happiness is a problem!

• Solve problems; be happy is the mantra of successful life. Main issues faced by people are:
• Denial: Denial of problems and reality may constantly delude or distract. This may make a person feel good in the short term, but it leads to a life of insecurity, neuroticism, and emotional repression.
• Victim Mentality: Sometimes, a person believes that there is nothing that can be done to solve a problem, even when the problem can be solved. People with victim mentality seek to transfer of blame on others for their problems or blame outside circumstances. This may make them feel better in the short term, but it leads to a life of anger, helplessness, and despair. 

You are not special!

• A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept it, they’ll never achieve anything, never improve, and that their life won’t matter. This sort of thinking is dangerous. 
• The rare people who do become truly exceptional at something do so not because they believe they’re exceptional. On the contrary, they become amazing because they’re obsessed with improvement. 
• The obsession with improvement stems from an unerring belief that they are, in fact, not that great at all. It’s anti-entitlement. 
• People who become great at something become great because they understand that they’re not already great—they are mediocre, they are average—and that they could be so much better.

The value of suffering!

• Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you’re going to start crying at inappropriate times.
• Honest self-questioning is difficult. It requires asking yourself simple questions that are uncomfortable to answer. The more uncomfortable the answer, the more likely it is to be true. 
• If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.
• Values such as, pleasure, material success, always being right, staying positive—are poor ideals for a person’s life. Some of the greatest moments of one’s life are not pleasant, not successful, not known, and not positive.  
• Good values are 1) reality-based, 2) socially constructive, and 3) immediate and controllable. Bad values are 1) superstitious, 2) socially destructive, and 3) not immediate or controllable.

You are always choosing!

• Life is like a game of cards where we all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. 
• While it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, and feel we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risks we decide to take, and the consequences we choose to live with. 
• People who consistently make the best choices in the situations they’re given are the ones who eventually come out ahead in poker, just as in life. And it’s not necessarily the people with the best cards.

You are wrong about everything, but so am I!

• Our brain is imperfect. We mistake things we see and hear. We forget things or misinterpret events quite easily. 
• Once we create meaning for ourselves, our brains are designed to hold on to that meaning. We are biased toward the meaning our mind has made, and we don’t want to let go of it. Even if we see evidence that contradicts the meaning we created, we often ignore it and keep on believing anyway.
• No matter how honest and well-intentioned we are, we’re in a perpetual state of misleading ourselves and others for no other reason than that our brain is designed to be efficient, not accurate. So be careful what you believe!
• Manson's law of avoidance: The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.
• How to be a little less certain about yourself. Ask yourself these questions:
• What if I am wrong?
• What would it mean if I were wrong?
• Would being wrong create a better or a worse problem than my current problem, for both myself and others? 

Failure is the way forward!

• Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something. 
• If someone is better than you at something, then it’s likely because she has failed at it more than you have. 
• If someone is worse than you, it’s likely because he hasn’t been through all of the painful learning experiences you have. 
• The do "something" principal:
• Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow!
• Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.
• Emotional inspiration → Motivation → Desirable action
• Inspiration → Motivation → Action → Inspiration → Motivation → Action...

The importance of saying NO! 

• We all must give a f__ about something, in order to value something. Also, to value something, we must reject what is not that something. To value X, we must reject non-X. 
• IMP: That rejection is an inherent and necessary part of maintaining our values, and therefore our identity. We are defined by what we choose to reject. If we reject nothing (perhaps in fear of being rejected by something ourselves), we essentially have no identity at all.
• The difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship comes down to two things: 1) how well each person in the relationship accepts responsibility, and 2) the willingness of each person to both reject and be rejected by their partner.
• People in a healthy relationship with strong boundaries will take responsibility for their own values and problems and not take responsibility for their partner’s values and problems. 

I have kept this book summary concise and skipped a few points, which did not resonate with me. Though, you should still find useful insights from the book in this post. 

Please let me know your thoughts and recommend other books that I should summarize. 

Here's Subin Khullar signing off today...

Have a wonderful weekend ahead!

Get Epic Shit Done (by Ankur Warikoo): Part 2 (Managing your career)

Hi everyone,

This is part 2 of my 4-blog series on the Book Summary of the book "Get Epic Shit Done" authored by Ankur Warikoo. I have tried to be as brief as possible in this post, in contrast to the previous one. For those who want more details and context, I strongly urge you to read the book. 

Amazon/Audible/Kindle link: Available here!

Goodreads link: Here!

"Get Epic Shit Done" is written as a conversation between a student and a teacher and is based on 36 frequently asked questions related to life as such, which prompts the reader to get into action...

So, without further ado, let's get into action of going through the book!

The book is divided into 4 sections and written in a question answer format covering the 36 FAQs on life. The 4 sections of the book are:

1. Managing your life (i.e., FAQs 1-9 are covered in part 1 of this blog series; refer here)
2. Managing your career (i.e., FAQs 10-19 are covered in the current blog, i.e., part 2)
3. Managing people
4. Managing yourself

This blog post covers the second section in detail. The next sections are covered in the upcoming posts.

Managing your career (Part 2 of the book)

10. How do I build trust?

• Trust is built on three things: 
• Being there for people when times are difficult.
• Being accountable for what you do.
• Sticking to your commitments.
• When you do error-free work, you show people that they can trust you.
• It is important to be proactive in communicating your progress and to request more time if you are unable to meet a deadline.
• Trust is that even when things go wrong, you know that everything that was needed to be done to prevent it was done and everything needed to fix it will be done.

"Being smart and witty can never compensate for lack of trust. Ever."

 

11. How do I find my passion?

• Ikigai is the Japanese concept of "the reason for being." It is the intersection of what you love doing, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what makes you money.
• Your 20s is the time to explore your ikigai. This is because you have the time and energy to experiment with different things.
• Once you have found your ikigai, it is important to be patient and put in the time and effort to make it a success. Money will eventually come, but it is not the most important thing.
• The most important thing is to find something that you love doing and that makes you feel fulfilled.

Image Credits: "Get Epic Shit Done", by Ankur Warikoo (page 90)

"No one should settle down. Keep up that fire. Keep moving the needle. You weren’t born to just settle down!" 

 

12. How do I pick the right career?

• Don't let your current job consume your life. Use it to provide for your needs and then focus on exploring your dream career.
• Don't compare yourself to others. They are on their own journey, and you are on yours. Focus on what you want to achieve and take action to make it happen.
• Envy comes from comparing yourself to others. Take action towards what you want and remind yourself that you are here to live your own life.
• Action achieves. Don't let envy empty you.

"If comparison led you to where you wanted to go, people would do nothing other than compare."

13. How do I change my career?

• Don't rush into changing careers. Acknowledge your current job's role in providing financial stability.
• Explore new careers in your free time, taking courses, talking to people, and trying out projects.
• Once you're sure about your new career path, look for opportunities within your organization or externally.
• Don't quit your job until you have a predictable income stream from your new career for at least six months.
• Remember, changing careers is a journey, not a race. Be patient and persistent, and you'll eventually find your calling.

"In a rapidly changing world, the ability to become a student whenever you have to is a superpower!"

14. How do I grow in my career?

• Growing in your career is about understanding your needs and working to fulfill them.
• The first step is to identify what you want most from your career right now. This could be money, work-life balance, growth, or something else.
• Once you know what you want, research how to achieve it. Talk to people who have the things you want and learn from their experiences.
• Be proactive in making changes to your career. Don't wait for things to happen to you. Take charge and create a career that you are happy with.

"If you don't ask, the answer is always NO!"

15. How do I deal with office politics? 

• There are two types of office politics: those encouraged by company culture and those that happen at a team or department level.
• If you find yourself in a toxic work environment, it is your responsibility to either voice your opinion or find another job.
• If you choose to voice your opinion, be prepared for the consequences. It is possible that you will not be heard or that you will face retaliation.
• If you think you are seeing office politics, try to see the situation from the other person's perspective. It is possible that what you think is politics is simply a case of different worldviews.

"If your manager indulges in the same politics that the top leader does, that is not politics. That is the culture."

16. How can I be indispensable at work? 

• To be indispensable at work, you need to go beyond just doing your job well. You need to bring something extra to the table that makes you unique and valuable to your company.
• The most curious and indispensable people focus on the outcome of their work, not just the output. They ask themselves why they are being given a task and what the reason is behind it.
• By understanding the outcome of your work, you can bring about positive unpredictability to your work and make yourself more valuable to your company.
• It is important to remember that success is not about doing the bare minimum. It is about going above and beyond to achieve the best possible outcome.

"If we just do what we are supposed to do, we will just get what we are supposed to get. Not what we desire to get."

17. How should I spend the first 90 days of a new job? 

• When you start a new job, it is important to focus on inputs rather than outputs. This means taking the time to understand the company culture, listen intently to your colleagues, and reach out to people for advice.
• By sharpening your axe, you are essentially preparing yourself to create a bigger impact when the opportunity arises. This means building meaningful relationships with your colleagues and being patient for the right time to strike.
• It is important to remember that everyone expects you to be a keen observer when you are new at a job. Do not try to create an impact from Day 1, as this will only set you up for failure.
• Spend time understanding the culture and observing how the system works. Listen intently to opinions and reactions around you. And reach out to people in your department and outside of it. Engage with them. Do all of this with patience, and at the right time, you will create a far bigger impact than those who were chasing it from the beginning.

  

Image Credits: "Get Epic Shit Done", by Ankur Warikoo (page 132) 

"If your manager doesn’t trust you, it doesn’t matter how smart you are."

18. How can I build multiple income streams?

• To build multiple income streams, it's essential to first establish a stable and predictable income stream. This could be a job or another source of income that provides a consistent financial cushion.
• Once you have a stable income, focus on creating processes and systems that free up your time. This could involve outsourcing tasks, automating processes, or delegating responsibilities.
• Explore different income streams that align with your interests and skills. Start with the basics and gradually expand your horizons. Consider activities like investing, teaching, consulting, or starting a business.
• Remember that the goal is not just to make more money but also to create a life that feels fulfilling and meaningful. Embrace the journey of exploration and allow yourself to discover new passions and possibilities.

"You build multiple income streams by first creating a stable predictable income stream."

19. How should I take a gap year? 

• A gap year is an important opportunity to explore different avenues and discover your interests. It is different from a drop year, which is used to reattempt an exam.
• There are three aspects to a gap year: becoming a student, building a community, and reflecting on yourself.
• To become a student, you should pick up courses and projects related to your interests. You should also speak to people in the field to get their perspectives.
• To build a community, you should find online networks and communities of people who share your interests. You can participate in these communities by observing, learning, and contributing.
• To reflect on yourself, you should always ask yourself two questions: Am I good at it or can I get good at it? Am I happy doing it?
• By taking a gap year, you can gain valuable experience and insights that will help you make informed decisions about your future.

"With changing times, taking time to reflect isn’t a luxury. It is a necessity."

 

So, with that, I wrap up the part 2 of this book. Hopefully it has some useful and thought-provoking insights for you. I will be back soon with the part 3 of this book summary (Get Epic Shit Done - Part 3 - Managing People). Until then, this is Subin Khullar signing off.

Goodbye and take care...

Get Epic Shit Done (by Ankur Warikoo): Part 1 (Managing your life)

"Get Epic Shit Done" is the second book of Ankur Warikoo after his first book "Do Epic Shit", which went on to become a national bestseller. The previous book focused on getting the reader to think, while this one is to prompt one to act!

Amazon/Audible/Kindle link: Available here!

Goodreads link: Here!

(FYI: No this is not a sponsored post, I am an avid reader and like to summarize books in my free time as a hobby! Please subscribe to my posts if you find it interesting and useful...)

The following video is an introduction to the book by the author himself.

 

"Get Epic Shit Done" is written as a conversation between a student and a teacher and is based on 36 frequently asked questions related to life as such, which prompts the reader to get into action...

So, without further ado, let's get into action of going through the book!

The book is divided into 4 sections and written in a question answer format covering the 36 FAQs on life. The 4 sections of the book are:

1. Managing your life
2. Managing your career
3. Managing people
4. Managing yourself

This blog post covers the first section in detail. The next sections are covered in the upcoming posts.

Managing your life (Part 1 of the book)

1. How can I stop comparing myself with others?

• False Assumptions in Worldview: There is a misconception that success is a zero-sum game, where one person's success means another's failure. However, in reality, everyone can create their wins, and the world offers abundant opportunities.
• Individual Uniqueness and Opportunities: Each individual is unique and has different life circumstances, making his/her path and outcome distinct from the others. This perspective encourages acceptance of individual differences and paths.
• Dealing with Envy and Comparison: There may be a difficulty in avoiding feelings of inadequacy when comparing oneself to others. However, using introspection, we should question the root of negative emotions, redefine personal success, and use such emotions as motivation for self-improvement.
• Emotional Transience and Self-Reflection: Human emotions are not permanent and can be harnessed for positive change. Through a dialogue with oneself, individuals can clarify their definition of success, understand personal obstacles, and take constructive actions toward their goals.

"The worst use of your time is comparing yourself to others."

 

2. How do I build my communication skills?

• Importance of Writing in Verbal Communication: One can improve verbal communication by starting with writing. Writing helps structure thoughts, control the pace of thinking, and refine ideas, enhancing clarity in verbal expression.
• Practical Steps for Improvement: The author recommends writing daily, starting with a page and concluding with a sentence that draws a clear inference. Additionally, one can record a one-minute video daily for 90 days, identifying errors and working on improvement.
• Incorporating Body Language and Style: Effective communication involves not only verbal skills but also non-verbal aspects. The significance of body language, style, and confidence in communication cannot be emphasized enough. Observing and emulating effective speakers can enhance these aspects.
• The Role of Listening in Communication: Listening is essential to effective communication and is also the most challenging aspect. Understanding the emotions of the person being communicated with is highlighted as a crucial element in becoming an effective communicator.

"Writing daily is not just for writers. It is for communicators who wish to express themselves better."

 

3. How do I build a growth mindset?

• Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset: The notion that individuals are born with fixed capabilities is not true. The capability of each person is malleability such that an adoption of a growth mindset can foster personal development.
• Ways to Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Three ways to establish a growth mindset are described. 

• Spending time with people who have different perspectives to broaden one's horizons. 
• Understanding and embracing risk as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat. 
• Living without a sense of entitlement, acknowledging the role of luck in achievements and fostering gratitude for growth.
• Benefits of Exposure to Diverse Perspectives: Spend time with people holding different views is highlighted as a means to expand one's understanding of truth and possibilities. Exposure to diverse perspectives is seen as a key factor in developing a growth mindset and overcoming self-imposed limitations.
• Risk as an Opportunity and Gratitude for Growth: Individuals with a growth mindset perceive risk as an opportunity to grow, understanding it rather than avoiding it. Additionally, the importance of gratitude over entitlement is discussed, suggesting that appreciating luck and growth fuels continuous improvement.

"Entitled people don't grow. They wait to be grown! Because they believe that the world owes them everything they desire."

4. How do I make tough decisions in life? 

• Reversibility of Decisions: Insights challenge the common belief that decisions are irreversible, and hence, most of decisions are reversible. Thus, do not spend excessive time seeking the "perfect" decision.
• Making Decisions to Avoid Time Wasting: Not making a decision is, in itself, a waste of time. Many people delay decisions in pursuit of perfection, leading to indecision. The message is to acknowledge that not making a decision is a choice in itself.
• Decision-Making Process: In a practical decision-making process involves evaluating important parameters, assigning weights to them, and ranking options accordingly. The goal is to make a decision based on one's unique preferences and priorities.
• Stoic Principle in Decision-Making: The Stoic principle is introduced, encouraging individuals to envision the worst-case scenario after making a decision. By mentally preparing for the worst and accepting the potential outcomes, individuals can alleviate the anxiety associated with decision-making and move forward confidently.

"Before you decide on the answer, ask yourself if you have asked yourself all the difficult questions."

5. How do I manage my time? 

• Personalized Time Management: The conventional approach to time management is challenged by the author, emphasizing that it is a highly personal endeavor. Standard time management advice often repeats the same principles, but true effectiveness comes from understanding one's unique relationship with time.
• Measuring Time and Awareness: A person should measure and reflect on every activity for an initial period and answer why each task was done and how it made him/her feel. This self-awareness forms the basis for understanding and improving a person's relationship with time.
• Development of Habits: Drawing parallels with learning to ride a bike or drive a car, the author highlights the importance of initial conscious effort in recording time activities. Over time, this effort becomes a subconscious habit, leading to a better understanding of daily routines.
• Allocation of Time: The author introduces the concept of time allocation using the Eisenhower Matrix, but encourages a personalized approach. Allocating time between tasks that are urgent and important, not urgent but important, urgent but not important, and neither urgent nor important helps in achieving a balanced and productive schedule tailored to individual preferences and needs.

The above image shows the Eisenhower Matrix (or the URGENT-IMPORTANT Matrix)

Image Credits: (c) Pinterest.com

"You will be able to manage your time only when you understand your relationship with it."

6. How do I focus?

• Embrace the idea that scheduled "wasting time" can be a part of your routine and can actually enhance focus.
• Use techniques like the Pomodoro Technique, which involves short bursts of focused work followed by brief breaks for "wasting time."
• The Pomodoro Technique is a strategy for managing time that involves working intensely for 25 minutes, followed by a short 5-minute break. After completing four such work intervals, a longer break of 15 to 30 minutes is recommended. Each focused work session is referred to as a "pomodoro," named after the Italian word for tomato.
• Recognize that allowing yourself designated breaks can make challenging tasks more manageable and reduce the resistance to starting them.
• Avoid the guilt associated with wasting time by understanding that self-criticism doesn't lead to improvement, and successful people focus on taking better actions.

"When we waste time, we make ourselves feel guilty, which makes us waste even more time!"

7. How do I deal with criticism?

• Differentiating Criticism: Do not to take criticism seriously if you don't value the advice of the person offering it. Distinguish between constructive criticism and unwarranted negativity, especially from online sources.
• Understanding the Source: Criticism often reflects the critic's unhappiness and is not a true reflection of the individual being criticized. Be empathetic towards critics rather than reacting with anger.
• Criticism from Loved Ones: Examine criticism from family, friends, and colleagues. Loved ones might be trying to help, even if it hurts. Separate the message from the messenger to gain valuable insights from well-intentioned criticism.
• Feedback as a Choice: Even in challenging moments, individuals always have a choice in how they perceive and respond to criticism. Instead of viewing criticism as a negative force, individuals can see it as an opportunity for self-reflection and improvement. This shift allows for a more positive and constructive engagement with feedback.

"Examine what is said, not who speaks."

8. How do I build a habit of reading? (PS: my personal favorite one... 😀) 

• Choose books based on personal interest:
• Start your reading journey with books that genuinely excite you.
• Focus on personal interests rather than attempting to appear knowledgeable to others.
• Start with enjoyable content and reading as a gradual process:
• The author recommends a gradual approach, going back to childhood preferences, like comics, to reignite the love for reading. 
• Enjoy the process rather than immediately delving into complex or intellectual books.
• The author describes his own experience of starting with comics and progressively transitioning to more complex content. This highlights the idea that building a reading habit is a gradual process, comparing it to the acceleration of a sports car from zero to top speed.
• Benefits beyond entertainment:
• Acknowledging potential skepticism about the value of comics, the author explains that even seemingly entertaining content has multiple positive effects. These include developing a habit of reading, understanding human behavior, resilience, and preparing the mind for more intellectual books.
• Reading v/s watching videos:
• The author contrasts reading with watching videos, emphasizing that reading requires focused attention without external distractions. This focused engagement is seen as a unique aspect of reading that sets it apart from other forms of consuming content, including watching videos.
• Reading goals:
• The author discourages setting specific quantity-based goals, such as a certain number of books to read. Instead, the emphasis is on absorbing as much as possible from the content. 
• The author shares a personal routine of reading for 30 minutes daily, highlighting the importance of consistency and enjoyment.
• Absorb, not accumulate:
• The ultimate goal in reading is presented as absorbing knowledge rather than accumulating a large number of books. The author encourages that one should enjoy the reading process, advocating for quality over quantity in the pursuit of building a lasting reading habit.

"Reading replaces mindless entertainment with learning and eventually leads to enlightenment."

9. How do I build meditation into my lifestyle? 

• Purpose of meditation:
• The author clarifies that meditation isn't about controlling emotions but becoming aware of them. It's like observing passing cars without getting involved, and similarly, meditation helps observe thoughts and emotions without attachment.
• Patience and consistency: 
• The author stresses that change takes time. Starting with just 10 minutes a day, gradually increasing, allows for a sustainable habit. Patience is crucial in building this practice.
• Guided meditation for beginners:
• The author recommends starting with guided meditation, leveraging available apps and videos. Following a guided voice helps focus on the breath and self-observation. It's acknowledged that steadying the mind can be challenging initially but improves with practice.
• Benefits of meditation:
• Meditation is described as a tool to calm emotions, providing a vivid awareness of one's emotional states. It allows for recognizing and understanding emotions, leading to a thoughtful response rather than impulsive reactions.
• Witnessing emotions v/s suppression:
• The author distinguishes between being a witness to emotions and suppression. Meditation fosters intense awareness of emotions, preventing suppression or impulsive reactions. It guides individuals to thoughtful responses after observing and understanding their emotions.
• Elimination of emotions through awareness:
• The sheer awareness of an emotion, its cause, and the realization of its purpose make the emotion disappear. Emotions serve the purpose of making individuals aware of underlying issues, and once this awareness is achieved, the emotion naturally fades.
• Choosing the right time:
• The author advises against waiting for distress to begin meditation. The analogy of planting a tree emphasizes the idea that the best time to start meditation is now, and the right time will be when the individual feels the positive effects of the practice.

"Meditation does not make you control your emotions. It makes you aware of them."

I enjoyed reading the book and writing the part 1 of this book summary. I will be back soon with the part 2 of this book summary. Until then, this is Subin Khullar signing off.

Goodbye and take care...

Think Straight - Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life (by Darius Foroux)

Think Straight is a self-published, short self-help book, to lift you up and get you going.

This book is available on Amazon/Kindle (including Kindle Unlimited, where I read it) at this link: Think Straight (Darius Foroux)

Hello everyone,

Welcome back to my blog. Today, I present to you a book summary of a book that I read way back in June this year. I was casually browsing through Goodreads, where I stumbled upon it and recollected how refreshing the book was.

Found an interesting YouTube Podcast by the author on How to Stop being Distracted. Including it here for those who are into podcasts.

Link: (651) STOP BEING SO DISTRACTED - YouTube

Cutting the chase, lets dive straight into the book on how to think straight (before I get into a writer's block myself and get distracted, 😅). 

YOU BECOME WHAT YOU THINK

• With practice, you can get better at controlling your thoughts so you can decide what you think.
• With better control over our thoughts, we can improve the quality of our lives and the outcome of our careers.
• When we improve the way we think, nothing is impossible to achieve.
• “You become what you think about all day long.” But we must realize that actions follow thoughts.

CLEAR THINKING REQUIRES TRAINING

• The mind is similar to a muscle that requires regular training to keep strong. One way to train your mind is by learning new things.
• Train your mind just like you train your body to keep fit. You don’t go to the gym for four years and quit for the rest of your life. So why don’t you exercise your mind the same way you do your body?

FROM CHAOS TO CLARITY

BRIEF HISTORY OF THINKING

“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” (Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius)

• The desire to master our thoughts is as old as modern civilization. Ever since the fifth century BC, philosophers from all ages and regions agree on one thing: The human mind is an instrument that solves problems. 
• From Confucius to Socrates to Descartes to William James, they all talk about their method of thinking—a way to view the world. 
• “I know one thing: That I know nothing,” is what Socrates famously told the Oracle of Delphi when Socrates was declared the wisest man on Earth.
• In the 17th century, the French philosopher René Descartes questioned everything in life, even his own existence. He famously said: “Cogito ergo sum.” Popularly translated to, “I think, therefore I am.” Descartes concluded that he must exist because he’s able to think. This is akin to the question that are we living in a dream or in a Matrix?
• William James describes the idea of pragmatism as follows: “The attitude of looking away from first things, principles, 'categories,' supposed necessities; and of looking towards last things, fruits, consequences, facts.” Thoughts should serve a useful purpose. If they don’t, they’re useless. That’s straight thinking.

IMP: The quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives and our decisions are a result of our thoughts.

LIFE IS NOT LINEAR

CONNECT THE DOTS

• Feed your brain with knowledge that you are curious about. 
• Steve Jobs said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” 
• If you want the dots to connect in the future, you have the make sure you form dots in your brain. 
• The only way you form dots is by learning, doing, making mistakes, reflecting, or anything you can do to feed your brain with the input it needs to give you the output you want.

FILTER YOUR THOUGHTS

• There’s too much information in the world for our brain to process. So, we’re forced to filter it. If we don’t, we go nuts! And in that filtering-process, we develop shortcuts to ease the cognitive load of making decisions. These shortcuts are called heuristics. A heuristic is a strategy we derive from previous experience with a similar problem.
• Some common heuristics are trial-and-error, social proof, familiarity.
• “True is what works” idea can be used as a filter that can be applied to all the information that goes into your brain. 
• When faced with decisions, ask yourself: “Will the outcome of a decision change the way I live?” Consistently asking this question will automatically filter out useless information and help you make decisions based on the information that have an actual impact on the outcome of your life. 

STOP “THINKING”

• It’s easy to stay inside your head for hours, especially when you’re in bed at night. More than 99% of all thoughts may be useless. One doesn't achieve anything with random thoughts most of the time. They don’t solve a problem.
• Unnecessary thoughts keep the mind preoccupied and create anxiety. For example,
• “I wonder what my boss thinks?” 
• “I think he doesn’t care about me.” 
• “I just keep failing.” 
• “Does she love me?” 
• “Why does my life suck?” 
• “Why is my life awesome, and other people’s lives are not?”, and so on
• You only have to be aware of your thoughts. Acknowledge them but never blame yourself.

INSIDE YOUR CONTROL VS OUTSIDE YOUR CONTROL

• Only focus on what you control, for example, you can control your: Desires, Actions, Words, and Intentions.
• Anything out of your control and without a useful purpose (example, your past) is a useless thought.
• Fantasizing about the future is also useless. 
• Useful thoughts can be of two types:
1. Thinking about how you can solve problems. 
2. Understanding knowledge. 
• Commit to stop thinking about useless things. Start taking control of your mind.

DON’T TRUST YOUR MIND, LOOK AT FACTS

• Various cognitive biases interfere with our decision-making process. For example, attention bias, confirmation bias
• Avoid making decisions based on beliefs, obvious logic, and even science.
• Base your decisions on hard (true) facts and not assumptions prone to cognitive biases.

TAKE YOUR TIME TO THINK

• When someone asks you a question, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” or "I will get back to you!"
• Giving instant answers doesn't always make you a smart thinker.
• Take a step back and evaluate your stance. This can improve your decision-making process.

RELEASE YOUR MIND

• When you hit a roadblock or obstacle in any endeavor, be it a book, blog, career, business, etc., do not get frustrated. This is not an indication of an end of the road; however, it may be an indication that you may be close to a breakthrough.
• At this stage, relax your mind, take a break, go for an outing, hang out with friends. When you come back and resume, you will find yourself rejuvenated and raring to go. This is when you may get your Ahaa! moment...

DRAW YOUR THOUGHTS

• Drawing frees your mind from the constant verbalization.
• Visualizing of ideas helps to realize patterns in data and is a useful tool for knowledge distillation.
• Simple tools like graphs, cartoons, sketches, mind maps, etc. can be used for idea visualization.

 

BE YOURSELF (NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE)

“Conquer yourself rather than the world.” ― René Descartes

• Ask yourself the fundamental questions like:
• What are you good at and what are you bad at? 
• How do you learn new things? 
• What are you passionate about? 
• What do you dislike? 
• Self-knowledge is very important to avoid making wrong decisions in life.
• Whenever taking a decision, step back and ask yourself: "Is this really me?" Listen to your inner voice.

TAKE TIME TO REFLECT

• Start journaling.
• Make your own autobiography.

PRATICAL MONEY RULES

• Don't buy what you don't need.
• Save at least 10% of your monthly income every month.
• Stay out of debt.
• Invest your money on things that have a return.
• Don't be stingy (I personally like this one 😀, live life king size 👑)

DON’T TRY TO THINK YOUR WAY OUT OF EVERYTHING

• When you think too hard, you often come up with bad ideas.
• It’s good to let your attention wander and stop thinking.
• You will find that the moments you are not thinking are just as important as the times you are actively thinking. 

BE UNCONVENTIONAL

• We always limit ourselves by narrow and conventional thinking. We always want to stay within a box. That’s because we never take a step back to look at the larger picture.
• It’s not this or that in life. You can have this and that.

DON’T ASK WHY

• Always double check as small things can become big things. 
• There is no point in asking “why” when you deal with obstacles, challenges, or mistakes. Instead, think about what you can do to overcome or prevent the things that are holding you back.

THINK ABOUT THE DETAILS EVEN MORE

• Details are probably the most important thing in business, work, sports, art, and life in general. “The devil is in the detail.”
• Research on finer details as paying attention to detail has a very large impact in the long run.

TAKE THINKING OUT OF THE EQUATION

• Improve the quality of your thoughts, so you improve the quality of your actions.
• Exercise at least 30 minutes a day (every day).
• Don’t burn yourself out (don’t go all out).
• Eat healthy (no junk-food).
• Don’t consume more calories than you burn.
• Keep track of what you eat and how much you exercise.

DON’T LIVE WITH REGRETS

• You don’t regret what you did in life, you regret what you didn’t do.
• You can read all the business books you want and watch as many videos about entrepreneurship as you want, but they will not make you an entrepreneur. You will only end up living someone else’s life. Take the plunge.

NEVER LOOK BACK

• When we hold on to a lot of things in the past, they form an obstacle to living in the present.
• Only look back to learn and grow.  

SPEND YOUR TIME WELL

Time is an essential resource. We must utilize time wisely by thinking effectively. Some effective thoughts are related to the following:

• Making your life better. 
• Growing your career and business. 
• Visualizing your future.
• Thinking of new ideas.
• Solving problems.
• Coming up with fun things to do with your partner, family, or friends. 

INNER CALM

Just sit down, be one with your thoughts, observe them, and then, ignore them. That’s all there is to meditation.

THINK BEYOND YOURSELF

We should strive for doing/creating useful things that matter to others so that we end up spending our time on things that actually make a difference. When you do that, life automatically has meaning—to everyone!

Conclusion of this book summary

I think this post has become a bit long, but I wanted to complete the summary of this book within one post so that the context is not lost. I strongly encourage you to read this book and share your thoughts on how this book impacted your thought process.

Wishing you a very Happy Diwali!

This is Subin Khullar, signing off for today...

48 Laws of Power (by Robert Greene): Part 2 (Laws 5 to 8)

Blog Series on Book Summary of 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

Hi all,

Welcome back to part 2 of the blog series on book summary of 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. 

This blog feature covers laws 5 to 8. I am taking only 4 laws in each blog feature at a time to keep the content crisp and easily digestible. The content will include one liner summaries of each law and a few important excerpts from the book related to the particular topic.

The previous blog feature on laws 1 to 4 can be read here: Book Summary: 48 Laws of Power (by Robert Greene): Laws 1 to 4 (booksummarybysubin.blogspot.com)

Now, to the book summary: part 2 covering laws 5 to 8. Will publish remaining laws in upcoming blogs.

Book link on Amazon/Kindle: 

Buy THE CONCISE 48 LAWS OF POWER Book Online at Low Prices in India | THE CONCISE 48 LAWS OF POWER Reviews & Ratings - Amazon.in

Law 5: So much depends on reputation. Guard it with your life.

A lot depends on your reputation. If the reputation is built based on a good will and good work, there’s no need to guard it. False attacks will be quickly brought into the light and destroyed.

Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation itself you can intimidate and win, and once it slips, however, you are vulnerable and will be attacked on all sides. Make reputation unassailable. 

Law 6: Court attention at all cost.

Attract the right kind of attention by providing value in any situation.

Everything is judged by its appearance. Out of sight is out of mind. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd. Stand out!

Law 7: Let others do the work for you, but always take credit.

Empower people to do work that helps both of you, and you will never need to take the credit.

Learn the art of effective delegation. This increases your effectiveness, productivity, and frees up your precious time to engage in higher priority tasks. 

Law 8: Make other people come to you. Use bait if necessary.

Make other people come to you by always offering solutions to their problems. Then, delegate the work.

Be a problem solver and offer solutions to others' problems rather than solving their problems yourself. Again, delegate work through effective solutioning.

Thanks everyone. Today being a weekday, that's all I could collate and publish. Hope you find this content (byte-sized, if you may) useful. 

I did not want to paraphrase text from the book and so I am including one-lines for each law and also including highlighted important excerpts directly from the book.

Hope this works.

Please let me know in the comments your thoughts on any other way of presenting this book summary.

Here's Subin Khullar signing off for today.

Do Epic Shit (by Ankur Warikoo)

Do Epic Shit by Ankur Warikoo is a self-help book describing life experiences of the author. 

The author narrates his story in a very lucid and relatable manner. The book is about his bold decisions, life hacks, money management, self-awareness, habits, entrepreneurship, and relationships.

Presenting you with a summary of the book and some key learnings. This is a must read in my view. Also, its less than 150 pages, so won't take much time to finish.

Rapid Fire with Ankur Warikoo, Author Of "Do Epic Shit"

NDTV's Sonal Mehrotra Kapoor in conversation with CEO turned FinFluencer turned author of "Do Epic Shit" Ankur Warikoo.

The book is divided into six main parts:

• Success and Failure
• Habits
• Awareness
• Entrepreneurship
• Money
• Relationships

SUCCESS AND FAILURE

• Success is a relationship you have with yourself.
• Everyone is running a different race.
• Neither success nor failure matters, what matters is what you become.
• Explore things, don't sit at one place.
• If you can be tough mentally, you can win the world.
• Passion is not something that you find, it's something that you grow.

HABITS

• Habits open doors and build you.
• Be curious, it creates opportunities.
• Don't try to wake up early, sleep early.
• IMPORTANT SKILLS:
• Humor
• Storytelling
• Managing Money
• Human Psychology
• Cold e-mailing
• A plan without action is nothing.
• Stay away from social media.
• Follow right people on social media.

AWARENESS

• Be aware and mindful of every action you take.
• Don't let the feeling of "What others' will think" determine your action.
• We procrastinate not because of laziness but because of fear.
• Instead of chasing success, seek satisfaction in your journey.
• Being calm even in harshest situations is a superpower.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

• Most people lack intent, not capability.
• Entrepreneurship is:
• 90% understanding and 10% execution.
• 90% empathy and 10% autocracy.
• 100% patience.
• It is not a profession, it's a state of mind.
• As an entrepreneur, your success depends upon how close you are able to get people to their solutions.
• Don't choose entrepreneurship if your primary goal is to make money.

MONEY

• The greatest use of money is to buy freedom, which is the ultimate privilege.
• Don't take loans to buy real estate.
• Don't increase your lifestyle with increase of income.
• Inflation is a real thing.
• Take risks early on without worry about short-term ups and downs.
• Compounding rests on time. Give it time. Don't interrupt it.

RELATIONSHIPS

• All problems in the world have their root in miscommunication.
• Respect >>> Empathy >>> Sympathy.
• True friends will be those who will be truly happy for you when you succeed.
• How you treat others reflects how we treat ourselves.
• Being kind is powerful. Not all will reciprocate but it is always the right thing to do.

KEY LEARNINGS AND TAKEAWAYS FROM THE BOOK

• Passion is not something you find. It is something you GROW.

• Don't think everyone wants to lead. 99% of the people want to be led. They want to be told what to do. LEAD THEM.

• BE CURIOUS: It is what creates opportunities, more than hard work ever will.

• We PROCASTINATE not because of LAZINESS but because of FEAR.

• Be busy in finding yourself instead of being busy in the RAT RACE and never KNOWING YOURSELF. 

• RESPECT >>> Empathy >>> Sympathy.

Hope you found the book summary enriching. I would strongly urge you to go through the book at least once. In Ankur's own words, the book is written in such a way that you can open any page of the book (much like playing book cricket, if you will...☺☺☺) and start reading it and still you will find it refreshing.

Here's Subin Khullar signing off for today....

Cheers!

Building a Second Brain (by Tiago Forte)

 

Building a Second Brain (BASB) is a self-help book written by Tiago Forte

Credits: Building a Second Brain

 

Building a Second Brain: Teaser Trailer: YouTube

(1583) Building a Second Brain: Teaser Trailer — YouTube

How to build a second brain to organize your life. Following are some excerpts from the book.

The CODE Method:

1. Capture: Keep What Resonates
2. Organize: Save for Actionability
3. Distill: Find the Essence
4. Express: Show Your Work

Use a Digital Notes App (e.g., Microsoft OneNote) to build your second brain to support and augment your mind, to save useful information and search/recall data on demand.

Second Brain Resource Guide (buildingasecondbrain.com)

You have to keep a dozen of your favorite problems constantly present in your mind, although by and large they will lay in a dormant state. Every time you hear or read a new trick or a new result, test it against each of your twelve problems to see whether it helps. Every once in a while there will be a hit, and people will say, “How did he do it? He must be a genius!”
-Richard Feynman